When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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