It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
