I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
