I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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