im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
