ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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