exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
