Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
