Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
This is my gift to your gina
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
