4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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