i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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