Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
