i was born a porn star she said
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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