She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
