well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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