I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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