Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
