How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The struggles of a small town man whore
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
