her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
