The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
