5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
