Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We need to rekindle our bromance
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
