Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
