i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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