so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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