i barfeds in our rink
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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