dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize