So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Randomize
