Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
