ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
