You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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