is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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