I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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