How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
