4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
