Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
