the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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