he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
