How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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