Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
