You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
