Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
