Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
