Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
