If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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