so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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