So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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