HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
