If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
