i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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