This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think I sprained my soul last night
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
