I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
