I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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