sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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