Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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