thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My vagina is officially offended.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
