from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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