I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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