Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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