I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize