I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize