I'm pants shitting drunk right now
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.