just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
What drink are we having for lunch?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT