Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
