Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
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At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
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Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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