Someone shit on the floor
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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