hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
