My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
